Saturday, October 9, 2010

Princess Murks is analysing the reason for marriage

Princess Murks went to a wedding. It had been a first wedding after many-many years. Once up on a time there had been weddings once a year, when Princess Murks' sisters and brother got married. During that time it seemed as some kind of true Cristian activity - people just got married when they had decided to be together. Easy. Just like you have a graduation party after finishing school... some kind of celebration for a stage of life.
Since that long time... Princess Murks has finished school without a graduation party. Seen many people living and having kids together without wedding party. Life is happy as it is... no need to spend time to some celebration that makes you worried (nothing happens on time) and nervous (is everybody in a good mood) and make you spend a lot of money you could use for traveling or just for food...
It does not seem to be important for Princess Murks. Seems more like some kind of waste of energy on bureaucracy. Why not just to be together and be sure about your partner without signing some papers. Or, then, not sure anymore and go apart without any worries about some given signatures. There are may people who think similarly - waste, waste, waste!
Still, some people get married for some reason. "Why?" asks Princess Murks. And, even more interesting after opening this question, some people do not get married but they have dreams about it. Asking "Why?" from these people is even more interesting question... So, Princess Murks has conducted a small study on this topic: why to get married?
The sources that have been combined by many conversations made during last years with older, younger people. If you recognize yourself, it does not mean that you are the only one who had said it to Princess Murks.
Results.
For those, who have got married, it seem to have been:
1. just a normal course of life;
2. to get married because everybody does and not to induce some unnecessary gossip;
3. to have the same surname for the whole family - especially, in the case of having kids;
4. to have the party;
5. to get secure feeling.
For those who did not get married but (maybe) would like to the results were a bit gender-biased, though the last point was pointed out by both sexes:
1. men: the ultimate symbol of love;
2. men: ways to show your partner romantic feelings and ability to commit;
3. girls point of view: "my man does not propose me";
4. girls without a partner: having a dream about a price on a white horse and beautiful party as a beginning of a new stage of life;
5. a moment of truth between partners who are having kids together and having everyday life together already for a longer time (they avoid this topic because in the everyday struggle the truth seem to change its' colors relatively fast).

8 comments:

Mari said...

Recently an old, a bit esoteric man started to lecture me (without me asking) that marriage is a decision to cope with your partners' mistakes. Nothing else. Being excited about "happy life" together will not work out. Full-stop.
Eeee, really?

Anonymous said...

You haven't included the fact, that being married makes your life sometimes easier inbetween the bureaucracy we live in. And in my opinion lot of people don't get married because it seems somehow SO BIG decision for them. I'm married and it is in a lot ways a rational decision. Romanticalt decision we made already when we started to live together.

Mari said...

Yeee, nobody have told me that with such blunt way :). But, yees, you are definitely correct.

Lea said...

what do you mean with this "moment of truth" ang changing colors?

Lea said...

actually, I dont know anyone who had got married after years of life together and kids, do you? Except for those people, who will marry after having their first child, because they think it would be too oldfashioned to marry, when the girl is pregnant.

Thats why i ask, what do you mean by this moment of truth?

Mari said...

As far as I understood, by talking to few of this kind of person, they do not tear to decide/think about that this is the person thay are, will and want to be together "forever". It has all just happpened because they were in love, wanted to have kids - not to become too old for it..., girl become pregnant by "accident", or some other reason... it just happened.. not that they really wanted it but just accepted what is happening...

Lea said...

why should anybody accept something that he/she doesn't want to happen?

It is a difficult question. Do things just happen to us, or is it possible for them to happen to someone else. And if they happen to someone else, are they even same things then. It's all very subjective. Would I be the same person, if I had a different parent. Would I met the one as I see him now, I mean "My One And Only Love In My Life In Eternity", if I had been born in a different country?

In all together it is allways a matter of coincidences and compromises. But it doesn't mean that it can't be perfect at the same time. It just happened this way and I just went with the flow, allright! And, by the way, some people don't believe in coincidences at all!

Mari said...

Eeeeh, you are going somewhere really far now...
People can be satisfied by being married or not being married. And also not satisfied.. Life can be perfect or not either way.
Just interesting to know why some people make some kind or other kind of decisions in their lives or do not take the decision but just go for "something" with the flow or with some interesting arguments.