Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Princess Murks does not want to speak

No words. There are some days when Princess Murks does not say anything to anybody. Princess Murks does not want to speak. And, not the last reason, there is nobody to talk to.
Hmmm, of cause there are people around. There are people living in the next houses, there are people walking on the streets, there are people biking in the streets, running in the streets. There are people sitting in the library, sitting in the cafeteria, there are people... Sometimes Princess Murks smiles to them and they smile back, but then the eyes are turned fast and... there is nobody to talk to.
Princess Murks enjoys this silence. Princess Murks does not want to break the silence. When there is silence then there is mystery. And Princess Murks is afraid that the real life is so-so much more boring than the mystery. With the silence Princess Murks can let the imagination fly. Princess Murks can think up what kind of people might those be here. She can think up their everyday life, what are their hobbies, their thoughts, their desires. If she started to talk to them she might find that they are lame and boring.
Besides, Princess Murks does not like to explain about herself. She knows what are the first questions: "What is your name? Where are you from? What are you doing here? What is your work about?" Urrrr, the most boring questions one can ever think of! And after those, the conversation is normally over... Why people just do not start talking about the important things? Why they need to know all this background information? Princess Murks would like to hear about something interesting, something exciting that happened in last days, something philosophical about life, something new, something...

At the same time... it is also boring when there is nobody to talk to.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Princess Murks has lost the excitement of distance

There has always been some kind of mysterious aura around traveling. Excitement of seeing something new, different, experiencing something new and different. Strange and exotic. Seeing in reality the life that one has been seen pictures about, movies about, read books and travel-diaries about, heard stories about and considered to be something that could be also just made up world. Nothing to do with me! Separate place and separate life and separate feelings. Traveling is an excitement that one can never go through by living in one place only. Excitement, that one-place-rooted person can only see in dreams. Excitement, that one-place-rooted person even fears, is afraid of, never wants to feel and experience and, therefore, never goes anywhere.
Princess Murks has lost this kind of excitement. The destinations are not so exotic anymore. There is no fear for meeting something unexpected, unpleasant. There is no excitement like that... There is nothing totally especial anywhere! Nothing, that Princess Murks has not seen anywhere else, is afraid of discover or fairs to fall into. Nothing.
The "new" experiences are more like... Like the variations of the commonplace. There are human conventions that the "new" people have their personal or cultural variation of. There are nature conventions that the "new" landscapes have their topological or climatological variation of. Those can all be generalized. It is the common everyday life, everyday problems, everyday joy.
Do not misunderstand Princess Murks - it does not mean that it is not interesting to travel. It is not that Princess Murks is tired of traveling. Traveling has not became lame or boring! It is not the case, indeed!!! The seeing something new, the feeling something new has become a part of everyday realities for Princess Murks. The need to compare, the need to discover Princess Murks' own reactions the need to change Princess Murks' own convictions every day has become an addiction. Princess Murks could not stay still and be one-place-rooted, Princess Murks needs this variation of people, variation of landscapes to develop as a person. Not because of the excitement but because of the...