Thursday, February 12, 2015


Where does it come from and how can it go away?
When he announced about their separation he said: "There is no love."
But... where did it go?
I think that there used to be love.. how can it disappear?

I do not understand.

I have never experienced love that goes away... I think.
Or.. what is love? Confused...

At the same time. When it can start, it should also have the right to stop being, change, disappear..

But when did it start? When I fell in love. Or when I got used to the person and decided to build a life together. Or when I saw him every day and night (not in the mornings as then he is asleep :)). Or when we were having fun together? Or when we had hard times together? When does the love start?
It is all so foggy.

And how can it stop being?
I think I still love the guys that I once had fallen in love. Even if nothing happened between us ever or it was a bit strange and embarrassing (I was a shy girl). But when I think about any of them I feel happy and glad. Kind of similar how I feel about Him, though, with Him everything is real. Or there is a difference of feeling love and feeling happy/nostalgic/cheerful? I guess. But I can not say "there is no love" when I think about them...

Or. Love goes away only when some bitter feelings come in place? I can not feel bitter about what happened in my past because nothing happened. But they were together for so many years.. I think 9 or even more. And many things can be said and many things can be done during that time. People grow and change and their feelings can change. Can they?
It sounds scary.

Can feelings really change? I can not imagine it... but yes, one day I did not love and the next they I was in love. At the same time, I can not imagine that as a mother I stop loving my kids. Or, I can not even imagine that I stop loving Him. It is like one of the essentials of the life, like I could stop breathing or eating.

It is so foggy.

1 comment:

Murks said...

Oujee, just realized that it is the Valentine's day tomorrow!
Love is in the air...