I have missed the trains

It seems to me
that everyone
i building up their carrier.

Working where needed to
get experience
Learning what needed
having a concrete
and thorough
structure

But I don't
I am messy
I get excited about everything
and I am not specialized on
anything

Sometimes I hope
everyone is just
good pretenders.
But in fact
they hardly are
They just know
what they like
I do not.

Have I missed this train...

And then
there is this other train
training and being fit....
I do no sports

I should I really should
I know how much I could
benefit.

But when? where? how?
It is dark in the evenings to go
for a walk or run
and I am tired by then...

Daytime passes in the office
evening with kids...

The train is gone?

Ouh, I am just
making stupid excuses, I know.
Instead of pulling myself together
and doing something with my life.
Changing something.

But
I
do
not.