Do not you feel it? I have this feeling all the time. For some weeks now. Maybe even longer. It is January and new year should always light a spark. New page. New opportunities. Yes, I also plan to go down in weight. Train more. Be more active. Love my body. Create good and meaningful contacts with people. In few moths I should find a new job as my project is finishing now. Do something meaningful with my life. Be happy(er) ...
But it just feels like that nothing matters. Something really bad is going to happen soon and then all my efforts are just waisted. I could just as well vegetate around and do nothing. No inspiration. No hope that the things I do or would do matter. They do not. Depressing.
It does seem that during the last few years, many bad things have already happen. One might think that from now on it can only get better. I do not have this feeling. I do not think it. I just think there are only worse things coming. To the world. To the countries. To people who cannot make sense of right or wrong, truth or false. It is all so messy and gets even worse. I am sad and I hate this feeling.
