Princess Murks walks among happy children

Eee.

It is strange. Recently Princess Murks has noticed something strange. Princess Murks is passing by a women with a small kid in the carriage. The child has an extremely happy reaction - smiling at Princess Murks and even reaching out her hand. Next time Princess Murks is in a food-store. another mother with her kid. Again the kid has this reaction.. smiles and looks at Princess Murks with huge happy eyes. This makes Princess Murks feel nice, smile back and say "hej-hej!". And again, Princess Murks is walking up the stairs, hungry and not in a very good mood. There is a kid standing int he end of the stairs with her mother. The kid is reaching her hand and trying to grasp Princess Murks' hand - unfortunately she passed to fast.. but they are looking at each other and the kid is waving happily.. Of course Princess Murks waves back and smiles.

Eh. Are there only happy kids all around or is it Princess Murks that makes them happy? But she does nothing to achieve anything like that.. Always the kids take the initiative to smile and greet. Princess Murks can even be in a relatively bad mood, and not smile or make funny faces to the kids to make them smile at her. Hmm.

Strange. It is a spring of happy kids.

Princess Murks does not have a place

There is no place in the world where Princess Murks would like to stay. Going somewhere is like a force of nature. Going away. Oujee, it sounds so extremely deep now. Even a bit too insipid. But it is as the plain words are saying.

Someone may ask: 'Where do you want to live? Where do you want to settle? Where do you want to form your family?'

The only concrete answer Princess Murks can give is: 'Not here!!!'

Is it that the need for settle down comes with time? At least that is what old wise guys like to say. If it is true then Princess Murks somehow would like to use this time now. Would like to have this feeling to settle and stay. But it is more like.. 'Not here!' and maybe even 'Not there as well!' and the most difficult is.. 'I do not know where!' and also.. 'Why the hell I need to make this kind of decisions, let it just go as it goes BUT I do not want to stay here!'

Is there a place for the family of Princess Murks?

Princess Murks is enjoying the snowfall in March

Ou. It already felt like spring. The sun was warm, the roads were melt and slippery... The snow had became dirty and ugly revealing all kind of dog crap, garbage and dirt that people had secretly thrown under the cover of white blanket.
Nice. Today morning the blanket had renewed itself.. suddenly everything is clean and white again. Beautiful! What a nice scenery again. Everything clean... Everything new... And the spring will never come.

Princess Murks is a sleeping-machine

Princess Murks has a sleeping machine inside herself. Sleeping is nice. Princess Murks likes it. Though, sometimes the sleeping has to be organized a bit.. especially with this kind of sleeping-machine...
This sleeping-machine works on food. Every time after Princess Murks has eaten something she feels an urgent need to sleep. In the morning when Princess Murks wakes up she needs to do some important things before the breakfast.. because after breakfast there has to be at least 30min of sleep. There has to be a nice sleep in the afternoon... or, if Princess Murks has some important things to do then better not eat lunch... otherwise the important things are transformed into important sleep.
Princess Murks could go to sleep in the evening strait after dinner and continue till morning.. so, better to eat as late as possible.

Princess Murks is sick

Why people get sick?

Princess Murks is in the office

Princess Murks is sitting in the office. Eeee. Table. Chair. Computer. Lights. Still empty shelves. Some people in the other boxes. Work. Writing. Reading. Going for a coffee. Looking out form the window. Snow. Parking places. Dark. Work. A bit cold. Scarf. Sitting. Office. Going to look for anybody to talk to. Talk. Come back. Work.
Strange....

Princess Murks is alone

Going around between places. Meeting many people. Meeting new people. Meeting old acquaintances, even friends. Start talking to people easily. Deciding which ones are worth to spend more time with, which ones are good only for coffee and small chat. Which ones make your head ache and better to avoid, which ones to open your good vine together and go deeper into discussions. There are always people around. Always somebody.
Going around between places. Some evening discovering that you do not have nobody to ask to go and have a beer together. Everyone has their obligations, everyone has their routines that do not include you. Do not want to introduce yourself, do not want to explain again who are you, why are you here, what is your name, what are your ideas about politics, literature, traveling.. Do not want to discover anybody, just want to talk to somebody who knows you, who agrees with you or reacts to your ideas with some interesting plea, interesting story. Not worrying what to tell or not, what could be politically incorrect, maybe could insult somebody. Do not want to be afraid of giving wrong impressions. Just want to be and feel myself. Not worry about some culturally embedded misunderstandings. Uh.
Princess Murks just stays alone. There are always people to discover, to talk to, to feel interested in, to feel free and relaxed as well as uncomfortable around. Even to ask to come and drink a beer together. Have coffee together. They are there. But still, Dr Murks is alone. Always been alone, will always be alone. Sometimes enjoys the company of nice people around and avoids the company of annoying people. Alone is how it is.