Princess Murks has lost the excitement of distance

There has always been some kind of mysterious aura around traveling. Excitement of seeing something new, different, experiencing something new and different. Strange and exotic. Seeing in reality the life that one has been seen pictures about, movies about, read books and travel-diaries about, heard stories about and considered to be something that could be also just made up world. Nothing to do with me! Separate place and separate life and separate feelings. Traveling is an excitement that one can never go through by living in one place only. Excitement, that one-place-rooted person can only see in dreams. Excitement, that one-place-rooted person even fears, is afraid of, never wants to feel and experience and, therefore, never goes anywhere.
Princess Murks has lost this kind of excitement. The destinations are not so exotic anymore. There is no fear for meeting something unexpected, unpleasant. There is no excitement like that... There is nothing totally especial anywhere! Nothing, that Princess Murks has not seen anywhere else, is afraid of discover or fairs to fall into. Nothing.
The "new" experiences are more like... Like the variations of the commonplace. There are human conventions that the "new" people have their personal or cultural variation of. There are nature conventions that the "new" landscapes have their topological or climatological variation of. Those can all be generalized. It is the common everyday life, everyday problems, everyday joy.
Do not misunderstand Princess Murks - it does not mean that it is not interesting to travel. It is not that Princess Murks is tired of traveling. Traveling has not became lame or boring! It is not the case, indeed!!! The seeing something new, the feeling something new has become a part of everyday realities for Princess Murks. The need to compare, the need to discover Princess Murks' own reactions the need to change Princess Murks' own convictions every day has become an addiction. Princess Murks could not stay still and be one-place-rooted, Princess Murks needs this variation of people, variation of landscapes to develop as a person. Not because of the excitement but because of the...

Princess Murks is using the Potion

Serious. Serious matters. Serious life. Tell me one thing that is serious in life?
Princess Murks is turning everything that starts to smell a little bit serious into a joke, a carnival, a clown, an animal in the zoo.
People who look and try to sound serious are silly, they can be observed as some clown or animal making their performance. The situations that are serious or even a scary make Princess Murks laugh (or, honestly, sometimes cry) just that their seriousness could vanish and it DOES.

Vanish, vanish seriousness! Yes, nothing left of it.

Princess Murks is having intensive interior monologues

Princess Murks is tired. It is really tiring to always listen to ones own thoughts. They are just coming and coming. One can not end while the other one is already there. So many different ones. No one is overlapping.
Princess Murks wishes her brain could just thinking about simple things. Like: "chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, nuts, nuts, nuts!" And for longer time than just few seconds.
Princess Murks wishes that she could have time to think about all these thoughts for longer time than just the short period before the next one steps in.
Princess Murks wishes she had all the time to fulfill all these excellent ideas. No time. No time. Only ideas flowing over and nothing visible is changing.
Only the herpes is appearing on Princess Murks' lips to show that there IS something going on. This something is happening only inside her, all these great ideas take form only inside her and disappear again to make room for the next.
Princess Murks is the same. The world is changing. The ideas are changing in Princess Murks' head. After spending the day of doing nothing but letting the ideas flow through, Princess Murks is tired.

Princess Murks is living in the metro

Princess Murks has never before lived in a town with a metro. Now, having living in one already for 5 months, Princess Murks suddenly realizes how much the metro is influencing her life. How much time she spends there, how much it connects her life between different places, how many things she does there, how many thoughts she thinks there. The metro has become a place itself, with its own identity, activities, meanings.
What happens during the time spent in metro:
- Reading, a lot of reading. Metro has the best atmosphere to concentrate on books and articles. One day Princess Murks will sit in the metro and go round-and-round just to read a good book.
- Smells. It does not stink, but quite often one can smell some smoke, some weed...
- The languages. It is nice to sit and listen to people talking foreign languages and try to understand them - Swedish, Spanish, Russian, Finnish, English... Or then just to take a free newspaper from the bench and try to read, easier even to read the advertisements. And to repeat the names of the stations after the official voice.
- The styles. What people are wearing, what are the details, how they make themselves look like. Who is stylish? Who is not stylish?
- Hairiness. Totally new topic for Princess Murks, but it is so interesting to look what kind of hair people have in their face. Specially interesting are the eyebrows. How the eyebrows are styled? Metro is a perfect place to make quite close observations about the hair :).
- Writing. To take out a notebook and write down all the turbid ideas of the day. Also the plan - what needs to be done when the metro-trip is over.
- A conversation. Has not really happened so far. And Princess Murks has not missed it. Better to be on a silent observer or introvert position. Mind your own business.
- Think. Just sit and watch with empty eyes into the distance. Maybe think of something. Or just close the eyes and try to rest them, sleep.

Princess Murks is battlefield for estrogen and progesterone

Uh. A human being is a biological compound. There are many interesting chemical, physical, etc processes going on in the body. So interesting. specially interesting is the way they effect your thoughts, your mind, your behavior.
Princess Murks is making observations with herself. Measuring her body temperature every morning. They say it shows the balance of the estrogen and progesterone in the body: which of the hormone is dominating. Approximately it should be that two weeks are for estrogen and then, the next two, for progesterone. It may vary for different reasons. Anyway, when the morning temperature is lower then the estrogen is ruling, when the morning temperature rises the progesterone takes over, and again, and again... They defeat each other in approximately every two weeks. Uh, what a battle!
Princess Murks has been writing a reaction paper to the situation:
Well. The feelings are diverse. In general, I am against any kind of war and battles but in this situation when the sequence is relatively equal and well-known then the little struggle makes the life actually more interesting and eventful. And, at the same time, the variation makes changes also in the other spheres - the activities, the thoughts the feelings, etc.
For example, when I feel the urgent need to make sports, go out and run to the end of the world, as well as make new perfect plans for my life, have many ideal ideas, solutions to every problem, as well as feel energetic and full of confidence and power etc.. this means tomorrow the estrogen will have been defeated the Other. And then I have much energy, can accomplish enormous amount of things but also want ot sleep a lot and deeply.
And, the other... when progesterone has the lead. Mostly no energy, have to force myself to do something besides nothing. Can go out with people who are not my close friends and not really care about being happy and cheerful with them. Just nod and maybe laugh a bit when the joke was really funny. Do not care about being nice. Do not care about what the future brings. Just floating with the stream or just hiding in my bubble.
Quite the opposite sides of myself! Fantastic! Just supporting the winning team...

Princess Murks is traveling in dreams

Princess Murks is traveling. Not a big news. even the blog here is a travel-log as everyone can read from the title. But still sometimes it is surprising. Surprising even for Princess Murks. Few examples:
1. Princess Murks is seemingly living in one place already for one week but every night when she goes to sleep she starts traveling. The trips are so clear. Meeting friends. Doing fun things with them - oaring a boat, skiing, having a beer in a bar, going to a cinema... Having conversations. Princess Murks feels tired and confused in the morning. Where am I now? it is hard to wake up. Needs a special effort to call back her soul to the body. Normally it takes even few hours to wake up. To come back...
2. Somebody asks Princess Murks: "So, are you the only one from your family who is living abroad?" Eh? What? Living abroad? No, Princess Murks is not living abroad. Princess Murks is just traveling. Or living? Or traveling? Or living? Is there really a big difference? Princess Murks can answer: "Yes, the others form my family are traveling at home" :)

Princess Murks is handicapped

Annoying. Annoying to be handicapped. The pitying of other people is the worse - it reminds It and then Princess Murks can not have normal time or normal conversation with these people anymore.
"Look what she has!", "Look what you have!" When they say like that then Princess Murks feels that This Thing is even growing bigger and it is impossible to hide It. And those people who make the comments will not see behind It, they can only see the weirdness, the abnormality, the handicapped. Princess Murks starts blushing, wants to hide, be in another place, fade away. Uuuh!
And what is so special about it? People should be polite enough to not mention it when they see it. Everybody knows that it is impolite to make comment about somebodies' wooden leg or chopped fingers, even chicken breasts should be left out of conversation. Hardly ever people mention the big ass or fat thighs of Princess Murks but they mention This...
And what can Princess Murks do? Princess Murks can hide It sometimes for short while but then It has to be there, on Its' place again. Let It be. Let It just be there and let it not to make a trouble for anybody. Let Princess Murks have her Big Smile.