Mold inside my head

there is mold inside my head

i have too many plans
that stay there
waiting and rotting
never get out
but never go away

they sit and wait
and grow mold on them
i do nto let them out
because

if i did
they would change me
and maybe make me
into a better person

but
maybe not

and
then they will be done so fast
and i would not have to think anymore
or dream
fantasize
about
how i fulfill them
one day
in the future

when?
never!

Prefabricated conversations

A Discovery when Learning languages

In some languages there are
Prefabricated conversation.

English
Swedish
....

If you do not reply as you should...
You are rude or dum or an immigrant.

The last Three mean the same.
It feels

Especially if you can show
that you, in fact, master the language
already in relatively high level.

So.
Learn the conversations
Even thoug
they are boring
and should be challanged
in all ways.

On the stage

Every day
I wake up
a Cold shower
clothes
coffee
shoes
bag
to the car

that is my initiation
to step up
to the STAGE

The stage
- my work
the stage
- the people I talk to
the stage
- my smile
the stage
- the texts I write
the stage
- my Comfort zone

I keep playing my role
I keep faking it
I keep performing

That I am intelligent
that I am sagacious
that I am fierce

every day
is a spectacle

I do NOT say - it is unpleasant
Not at all!

It is fun to fool
It is fun to pretend!

It is fun to observe my astonished audience

They have no idea...

Power of words

I would like to be able to master

the Craft

of Words

To be able to express myself

in this powerful and Beautiful way

fully

But anything I say

or write

sounds simple

too simple

too simplified

I do not know enough

synonyms

in any language

I cannot play with Words

that I have no knowledge

and my brain cannot digest

them all

Frustrative

Winter is in spring

Winter is here
finally

The evenings are so Cold
but our fireplace gives warmth
and it is nice

The mornings are Cold
and slippery
The Little cravel-road
Wakes me up
with a shock
every morning
when the car start sliding
towards the sides
and for a sec
I am not sure
if we are gonna make it
this time.

So far
so good.

It is Cold
all the time.
I do not mind
I do not mind.

But birds are singing
and the sun is shining
sometimes
with the intencity
of the spring.

I know.
Nothing lasts forewer.
So
Enjoy
The
Moment

Me ei uskunud
Aga sa ikkagi oled seal
Sa lamad seal
Kirstus

Su kirstu kõrval seisab su pere,
Vanad ja noored
Mõned liigagi noored
Lisaks kulmukaarele
Ja ninajoonele
On ka see neil viimastel ühine sinuga
Te olete selleks liiga noored

Ka meie seisame
Klimp kurgus ja silmad vesised
Mõtteteravus vajunud
halli uttu.

Me keegi ei usu,
Et sa nüüd kohe ei nihuta end
Ei keera end ringi
Sest kõhuli on ju mugavam
Magada
Või ei ärka, ei tõuse
Ja ei hakka sebima
Ei saada enam
Neid reede südaöiseid kirju
Põhisisuga: KIIRE

Aga sa ei hakka
Me ju teame seda
Kuigi ei taha
Uskuda

Nii me seisame
Ja otsime tuge
Vaatame läbi udu
Kuid südames on tänu
Et tulid
Olid
Inspireerisid
Õpetasid oma olekuga
Mõjutasid
Kasutasid
Ja andsid edasi ning tagasi
Intensiivselt
Ja ülevoolavalt
Ikka hingega kohal

Sina läksid aga meie jääme
Silmades kurbus hajub aeglaselt
Ja ebaühtlase kiirusega
Kuid siiski
Kui laulame su sõnu
Ja vaatame üksteisele silma
Ja südamesse
Ja homsesse
Mis tuleb ja tervitab
Ja kutsub edasi

Jäävad su naerulohud
Su pere naerulohkudeks
Su peopesad
Teistele pidulistele
Su mälestus
Meile kõigile

Oli au